Things are not always as they seem

Be careful of the clock ticking... I was desperate to have children and thought that it could be done without love. Having had my heart broken the first time around I looked for all the opposite qualities in the next person I was to be with. I was not going to allow anyone to be that close to hurt me again.While I thought I had found the perfect father for my children I found a fraud. He was all the things I thought I wanted before the marriage and children. After my daughter was born things changed drastically. From an attentive compassionate man he went to a selfish evil child. Never once did he get up for the crying baby. When then to my surprise I was pregnant with my son only 5 months after the birth of my daughter. After his birth things went from bad to worse. He was a lying evil man. Here's the irony, I only married him because I thought he would be a wonderful father to the children I wanted desperately. He turned out to be the worst father imaginable. Thank goodness he has left their lives completely. While in most cases they say a father involved is good no matter how bad. This is a very destructive person we are all glad to be rid of... The moral of the story as my son told me one day " don't you know you have to be in love?" Unfortunetely while he did not hurt me that deeply because remember I didn't let him in. He hurt the kids more deeply than I imagined possible. It is hard enough to make it through the grind of life but if you are doing it with someone you are not crazy about who turns out to be a physcho it is not worth doing at all.

Hopefully one day I will stop being the jaded person I have become and let someone in!!!!

God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you need.

To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.
I LOVE YOU!!!!! One Flaw In Women
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

sarah

I had been married for 5 years and had lost one baby and had another who was autistic. So, I decided to adopt a baby. It took about two years, but I adoped a beautiful baby girl and name her Sarah. She had big blue eyes and curly blonde hair and was like a little angel. Everywhere we went, people stopped us to say how beautiful our little girl was. She was also very smart and had a smile for everyone. I felt that I had been given a gift that I could never be thankful enough for. We took her to New York to see Broadway plays, to California, and everywhere else we went. One day when she was 3 1/2, I left her home with the nanny for an hour while I went out to lunch with a friend. When I returned 1 hour later there where police cars parked all ovcer my front lawn. I learned that my daughter had been taken by helicopter to the hospital. She had fallen in the pool. I rushed to the hospital thinking that I would get there and she would be fine. But, that was not what happened. She did not make it.



All of my friends and family gathered to console me and I appreciated it. But my heart was broken. I felt as if part of my heart had been ripped out. I spent the next six months sitting home feeling like I did not want to live. How could God do this. It was impossible. After a while all of the family and friends went home and I was left with my grief. I started thinking about what I was going to do. I decided I had three choices: I could sit home and continue to feel sorry for myself for the rest of my life, and maybe end up in an institution; I could kill myself; or I could get up, get dressed and go on with my like, because nothing was going to bring her back. Additionally, I realied that althorugh my friends were sympathetic and concerned, noone wants to be with someone who is always sad and down. So, I picked myself up and got dressed and put a smile on my face and joined the world again, even though I was and always will be aching inside.



As I look back now at that time, I feel like the whole episode and all of the bad feelings surrounding it are like a black hole. If I ever go near that hole, I will fall in and never be able to crawl out again. So, whenever I think about Sarah, I think about the good times and the good feelings and never think about the sorrow of loosing her. I eventually adopted another little girl who is beautiful and who I love with all of my heart. She has brought my so much joy because of who she is, not a replacement, but a gift from God.

High-Profile Affairs

How - or maybe the real question is, "why" - do they stick by their sides?!? Click the titles to view...

Elizabeth Edwards: How I Survived John's Affair

Published: May 15 Time Magazine

Public Displays of Disaffection

By Lisa Belkin; Published: July 9, 2009 NYTimes Magazine

LITTLE THINGS MEAN ALOT

During my 87-year life span, I've learned that,  "little things mean a lot"--both positively and negatively.

A case in point.

As a high school senior, I found my first girl friend and wanted to give her a present. At the time, my Mother was confined to a sanitarium. It occurred to me that I might take an inexpensive piece of her jewelry and give it to my friend.  I did so--a small diamond lavaliere, which overwhelmed the young lady. Several months later, my Mother returned home and discovered that the lavaliere was missing and asked if I took it. I confessed and was ordered to retrieve it forthwith. Embarrassed and chagrined, I asked my girlfriend to give it back-which she tearfully did.

Soon after this incident I left for college, military service, professional career and marriage to another lady.

I never saw my youthful girlfriend until 70 years later. I was invited to a party by mutual friends.....and there she was.

We recognized each other and the first thing she said was: "Did you really know how badly I felt when you took back the lavaliere"?

She remembered the incident as I did......obviously important despite all of our other life experiences.

LITTLE THINGS MEAN A LOT

I Don't Want This to Sound Like the Story from Hell, BUT

... I have had great life experiences: a wonderful family; supportive children; fun grand children; the best friends that anyone could ask for; two loving husbands; several unique and successful careers; good health; and great disappointments in these "Golden Years".

Now that I am at the time of my life when I had expected everything to just fall into place, it all fell out of place.

My husband spent all our money; the house is in foreclosure; I have filed for bankruptcy; and I am starting all over again.

I WILL SUCCEED!

Starting in a new location; a new career; new friends; and lucky me, continued support from my family and old friends.

There is much more to this story and I will tell it in time. Stay posted to this site.

GOLDEN YEARS

One of My Stories

When I was in my early twenties I moved to Washington DC and went to work for a national trade association. I was Director of Membership and a large part of my job consisted of traveling around the country to sign up new members, as well as going to a national trade show once a year in various cities. One year the convention was in Chicago. At night after all of the events of the day were over I went out with some of my friends to a popular piano bar. We were having a great time singing along with the piano player when I noticed a very good looking guy was staring at me and smiling. I asked one of my friends who he was and he informed me that he was the president of one the companies in our industry. Soon after that he came over and my friend introduced me to him. That was the beginning of one of the most exciting times of my life. He was single and had a company jet. One weekends he would fly to Washington and sometimes we would go to the islands, Florida, California, or Vegas. One weekend we went to Vegas where we stayed in the penthouse suite of Ceasars Palace. It was like a fairytale. We dressed black tie, went to the most exclusive restuarant, danced under a sparkle ball. Then after dinner we went to the casino where he taught me to play craps. We won $4000.00, which at the time was a great deal of money to me. Then we went to the shops and bought me all kinds of presents. Ah, to go back to those days. I wish